


Sir, Please Calm Down

by LiterallyAViking



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kittens, M/M, Pet Shop AU, horrible flirting, i don't know bro, its like 2 am where I am, pure fluff man, this is terrible but lol whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5591290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyAViking/pseuds/LiterallyAViking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sir, please calm down," Kenma tries, holding his hands out hesitantly, as if too afraid to touch the boy in fear that he will drop the kitten. "Please put the kitten back,"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In which Kenma works at a Pet Shop and Kuroo has no tact whatsoever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sir, Please Calm Down

Kenma wouldn't say that he didn't enjoy working at Paws and Whiskers, a pet shop creatively named after, well, the paws and the whiskers that inhabited it. Still, at the same time he definitely couldn't say it was something that he looked forward to every weekend, as opposed to the other boy working in the shop–who, ironically enough, also had bleached blond hair–who would rush towards the few dogs that the shop had as if greeting old friends.

He certainly didn't mind the laziness of a Monday afternoon–a day that he wasn't even supposed to be working, and yet here he was. He could hear the soft mewing of a group of kittens as they wrestled about in their cage as well as the occasional stray yap from the dogs that sat further back in the store, the other boy–Kyoutani he believed was his name–quietly cooing at them as he groomed them.

Maybe Mondays in the shop weren't so bad after all, at least compared to the chaos that was Saturday which usually left Kenma holed up in the back of the shop to deal with the grooming of various animals. 

Keeping his eyes glued on the small handheld that he clutched, the faux-blond didn't bother to lift his head at the soft tinkle of the bell attached over the door, signaling to Kenma that he wasn't the only one in the front of the store anymore. Hopefully they didn't need anything, he was right in the middle of beating some old high-score of his.

It seemed that Kenma didn't hope enough for a quick, effortless exchange between himself and the customer that would only happen at the cash register, instead being jolted from his game by the loud mewl of a kitten followed by purring and a round of loud crying from the other cats. 

Please let this be minor, please let this be something Kyoutani can fix.

Peeking up from his phone, Kenma caught sight of the customer–a tall man (more like a boy, really) with hair that seemed to stand up in all directions, but especially up–rubbing one of the kittens against his cheek, two others perched comfortably in his lap while the rest of the group eagerly pawed at the sides of the pen. 

With a sigh, the faux-blond tucked his phone away into his pocket and straightened himself out, subconsciously reaching up to smooth out the collar of his shirt before realizing that he was not, in fact, wearing his uniform, instead clad in a shirt that loudly declared, simply enough, the word 'Halibutt' accompanied by a fish with a butt. Vaguely he recognized this as Lev Haiba's. Why he had it, however, was beyond him.

Oh well.

Kenma gathered up a small bit of courage–gathering up a lot more as he glanced down at the shirt once again–before marching over to where the man sat, another squirming kitten placed among the bunch in his lap.

"Excuse me, sir," Kenma begins, clearing his voice when it broke slightly from lack of use, "Is there anything that you need?"

The boy turns around to face Kenma, dark brown eyes giving him a once over–stopping on the Halibutt about three times–before he turns his attention back to the kittens crawling around him. "Are you seeing this?" The boy asks at last, gesturing slightly to the cats.

"I–" Kenma begins, brows furrowing and head cocking slightly. "Yes?" He tries, not entirely sure what he's supposed to be seeing, beyond the kittens that is.

The boy laughs gleefully as he brings his hands down to stroke two of the kittens at once, "They like me! They actually like me!"

Was that what this was all about? The fact that the–exceptionally friendly–kittens seemed to be making friends with this rooster haired boy-posing-as-a-man? "I suppose they do, yes."

Another laugh resounds throughout the shop, causing a few dogs to sing in response and a bird to squawk as if telling the group to shut up. Kenma lets out a breathy laugh, not too sure what else to do at the moment. 

Watching as the man leans over into the pen to extract another kitten–slightly amused as the ones not chosen bat at the boy's hands–Kenma is suddenly reminded of the many–many–rules instructed of him on the proper care of the kittens.

"Sir," Kenma squats down next to the man, carefully pulling one of the kittens from the boy's lap to instead place it next to his chest, "I'm going to have to ask you to put the kittens back. We have a strict policy here." He gently sets the wriggling kitten back into the pen where it is immediately pounced on by another.

The boy pouts as Kenma continues to take each kitten from his lap and return them to their pen, but that doesn't stop him from quickly taking another kitten from the pen and rubbing its fur to his cheek once again, bounding up to his feet as he did.   
Kenma's eyebrows raise at the man's display, not entirely sure if training had had this scenario and, if so, how he was meant to deal with it. 

"But they're so cute…" The boy drawls out, bringing the kitten face to face with him and quickly delivering a short kiss to its furry head.

"Sir, please calm down," Kenma tries, holding his hands out hesitantly, as if too afraid to touch the boy in fear that he will drop the kitten. "Please put the kitten back,"

The boy looks almost amused for a moment as Kenma catches him glancing at him from the corner of his eyes before they are turned back to the kitten, his cheeks puffed out as he stared intensely at the small creature.

"Why would I do that when it's this cute?" He asks, turning to Kenma with the question set in his eyes, as if he is truly, genuinely confused. The shorter almost laughs at this. "I mean, it's so cute I may just take him home right now."

Kenma's eyes widen in alarm. If that were to happen his boss would kill him on the spot. And that would only be right after firing him. "I mean, I know that it's cute, but you have to pay for that."

The boy glances down at him once again, a crooked smile blooming across his face as he snickered at the shorter's expression. "Don't worry," He says at last, giving the kitten one last smooch on the head before setting it back into the pen, sending all of the cats one last look of longing before turning back to Kenma, "Your kittens are safe."

With a slight twitch of his brow, Kenma's nose scrunches up in distaste before he turns from the boy and marches right back to the front desk. He can hear the boy following behind him, begging him not to be mad–despite the fact that they had just met a good five to ten minutes ago. 

As he finally situates himself back behind the counter, Kenma turns around and comes face to face with the boy's dark brown eyes, the closeness making his own widen slightly and a sharp stab of anxiety shoot through him. Still, as soon as the boy backs away, a shit-eating grin left on his face as he does, the feeling begins to die down.

"Hi there," the boy finally says after a half-minute of the two of them simply examining each other. It seems that he's trying to make his voice flirtatious, but it serves less to turn Kenma on and more to make him snort in amusement. And yet the boy carries on, seemingly undeterred by Kenma's laughter, although another spark of light seems to have settled itself into his eyes, "My name's Kuroo Tetsurou. I'm a Scorpio, ambidextrous, and already own three cats. May I ask your name?"

Kenma can't help it now, quickly moving a hand to cover his mouth as he snickers at Kuroo Tetsurou's brilliant attempt at…something akin to flirting. After another minute or so of his quiet laughter, a simple glance at the other boy being enough to send Kenma off into another round of giggles, the faux-blond has seemed to finally regain his composure, brushing away a stray strand of hair as he straightens out and looks Kuroo Tetsurou straight in the eyes.

"Kozume Kenma, Libra, I enjoy video games and eating an average of ten apple pies a day," He says, attempting the same smolder like pout that Kuroo Tetsurou had set on his face just moments ago. Needless to say, it is more than enough to send the other boy off into a round of laughter–quite opposite to the gleeful laughter he had emitted minutes ago, this set sounding more like a donkey baying. Endearing.

"Well, Kozume Kenma," Kuroo Tetsurou says once he's calmed himself down and has glanced at the clock, "It seems that I must leave, but before I do it there a number I can get with that star sign?"

Kenma gives off another airy laugh, looking off to the side as he did before turning back to Kuroo Tetsurou. "I suppose," He says, quite surprised with himself and his forwardness really as he prattles off his number, watching Kuroo Tetsurou fumble to get his phone out and then fumble to put his number in.

"Okay then!" Kuroo cheers, a new sort of excitement added to his demeanor, "Expect a text from an extremely attractive man extremely soon."

"I'll make sure to tell him hello from you as well," Kenma teases, nibbling slightly at his lip at the others just as teasing pouty glare. "Goodbye, Kuroo Tetsurou."

"Goodbye, Kozume Kenma!" Kuroo calls as he exits the store, "Goodbye most beloved kittens! I will be back one day!"

Kenma allows himself another laugh, the reality of the fact that he had just been hit on and the fact that he hit back not sinking in until he's halfway home from work, phone held tightly in his hands as a text from an unknown number dings up on his phone.

'Are you sure that it's healthy to eat ten apple pies a day? ०ा०'

**Author's Note:**

> What am I even doing? I do not know. It's 2 AM and I just watched about one thousand kitten videos.


End file.
